You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize