Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize