and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
