i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
