My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
