Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
