And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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