Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
