Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize