I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
