just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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