That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
