I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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