is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh god it's open bar.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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