i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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