I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Too much gin, very little bucket
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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