my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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