Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
