walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
