just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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