think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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