idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize