Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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