You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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