I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
