I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize