What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
