But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
