I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize