What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Terrible idea I love it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
