at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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