I feel great
I just peed on a car
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
