I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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