3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
