Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You pole danced in your parka.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
