So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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