New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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