so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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