Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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