i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
