i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
