ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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