how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
