Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
