There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
