and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
