its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
