what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
