ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
