He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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