saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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