I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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