Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
