No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
