Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
