ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
