Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
