yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
