People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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