Cold hands, warm shart.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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