I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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