mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
