I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's always time for handjobs
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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