Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
