hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish i was in the wii world.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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